Things I don't understand about the World Cup

Not having played a lot of soccer, or footie as some call it, I'm at quite a disadvantage when it comes to watching the World Cup. There are a few things I just don't get.

1. Do you need to take dancing lessons before the game can be played well?

2. And, what

about drama?

Looks like you

would need

some experience

with acting.

3. And, what's with those rules? Do they allow hugging? Or should this Ivory Coast guy have been called for a head lock, or maybe choking?

4. Since players don't have the benefit of line changes or commercial breaks, when they're touched by an opponent, they can just lie down and take a breather.

5. If they're

really tired . . .

they can always

take a ride on

one of those

stretchers

they use for

injured players.

6. One more thing. Is it really true that the scoreless games are supposed to be the most exciting? Or, am I missing something?