No, this is not a Bible story. Although . . . it might fit in the Book of Proverbs or maybe with that rule about not coveting your neighbour’s condo. The story takes place in the Promised Land of Mexico. I discovered you don’t need to venture into a casino to be tempted in Puerto Vallarta. On most main streets, handsome solicitors with that “help me help you” look on their faces are everywhere. They reach out for you unashamedly, pulling you in to show you a good time.
With his down home friendliness and charm, Daniel took the cake. Pulling out maps and descriptive folders, he wanted to answered questions and show us the way to happiness. He gave us some great hints. One must see was the Mexican Fiesta featuring Mariachi Music, Folkloric Show and Buffet, a dancing horse, plus a dad and his young son twirling lariats.
We were also told about Rhythms of the Night. Only an hour by sea, you sail to a secluded jungle hideaway in the cove of Las Caletas. Because there is no electricity, you are welcomed by 1200 flickering torches and soft music. Following the entertainment, you dine beside the moon-lit ocean with tropical palms swaying overhead. There is no way we were going to miss that. 
Eventually Daniel got around to the gold card which entitled you to discounts of up to 40% for various events including those just described. All we needed to do to obtain one was sit through a 75-minute presentation. Daniel even offered to escort us to Villa del Palmar Flamingos - the resort he was pushing. The deal also included breakfast. On our way, he pulled out his cell to report his catch. They informed him we did not qualify because we were not staying in one of the places named on the preferred accommodations list.
Daniel was explaining he had spent a lot of time with us, and would they make an exception. They could but we would need to give the name of a hotel close to where we were staying. To thank us for going along with their scheme, we were offered an additional discount on the two special events we wanted to take in. As we pulled in, Daniel was penciling “Room 125, Rosita Hotel” on our “application.” It reminded us of a year ago, traveling in Russia, carrying documents that were obtained only after parroting false information dictated to us by the Russian officials themselves. It seems the whole world has forgotten all about the 9th commandment.
The sales rep assigned to us turned out to be Adam, who wasted no time leading us down the garden path. I mean, the place was beautiful, just like a garden. The outdoor restaurant and pools were splendid. The rooms were spectacular, each with its own ocean view. Back to the real world, the murmur of voices in the selling arena was cacophonous, reminiscent of a room full of seekers all praying at once. This room contained a bunch of sales reps whose brief cases were bulging with fine print. When we finally went for a deal that seemed to be within our price range (the tiniest room that, in hindsight, probably no one in a timeshare would want to trade for), Adam brought back a bottle of champagne to help us celebrate. When he popped the cork, everyone in the room cheered.
Next we went in to see the Verification Officer. After Olimpia clarified some of the promises that were made earlier, we were convinced we had been slightly deceived. Nevertheless, we signed everything and took our free cab ride home. One of the perks in signing that day had been a free cruise. Adam said he wasn’t allowed to give us both a cruise, but if we would come back a couple of days later, he would personally present us with a second one as well as throwing in another breakfast. The “cruise” turned out to be a coupon for 300 points, whatever that meant.
That night Darlene was having a severe case of buyer’s remorse. She was afraid we had made a huge mistake. I was sure I had read somewhere in the paper work that we had five days to change our minds but she didn’t think this was the case. I rolled over and went back to sleep. She got up and spent hours going over all the fine print.
When we showed up two days later, Adam was nowhere to be seen. Of course, neither was the second “cruise.” Something had come up. This actually worked in our favour, though, as we got to speak with the big boss. Louis had started out as a kid selling Chiclets, he informed us. He had worked on the street just like Daniel was doing. He had held his present position for 23 years.
Louis even drove us in his private car back to their headquarters where we had opportunity to talk with the Verification Officer one more time. Initially she had been very honest with us. Moving carefully, Darlene just asked what the procedure would be if “someone” decided to cancel the deal. Olimpia answered that it would need to be in writing. Unknown to her, we had already prepared our letter. When she realized that we were about to do this, she seemed to panic and may have resorted to a little dishonesty of her own. Her face had begun to perspire. When we asked about the five days of grace item, she explained that this was only for her company, and not for the buyer. A likely story. Darlene said since we had a lawyer in the family we wanted to be quite clear about the details. Olimpia immediately excused herself. We guessed she had gone to talk to her boss. When she returned, she said that Louis had okayed a full refund, stating again that our decision would need to be in writing. As a last resort, Olimpia declared that no one had ever backed out before. This too was hard to believe.
After reading over our letter of refusal, Olimpia looked up and said that our letter needed to state the reason for our decision. We gave her several good ones. When she heard them, she suddenly became a real person again, showing understanding and even some empathy.
On the way home, the cab driver was delighted to learn of our decision. It’s really not Mexico over there in "new" Vallarta, he was saying in his broken English. He continued talking and asking questions, finally explaining that he was trying to improve his English. Arriving back at the “Rosita,” we climbed out feeling much lighter than we had earlier in the day. Wanting to call our driver by name, I took a quick look at his name tag before handing him the fare. His name was “Jesus!”
We were also told about Rhythms of the Night. Only an hour by sea, you sail to a secluded jungle hideaway in the cove of Las Caletas. Because there is no electricity, you are welcomed by 1200 flickering torches and soft music. Following the entertainment, you dine beside the moon-lit ocean with tropical palms swaying overhead. There is no way we were going to miss that. 
